i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
