I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
