So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
