I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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