You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
