Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
