fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
God I need to hump something, right now.
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