I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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