For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
