I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
