Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
