Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
is wine microwaveable?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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