GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dick very happy bro
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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