she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
