I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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