she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
