that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Come see our sink grown plant.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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