that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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