you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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