Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
