please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
