He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
