just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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