Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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