That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
