jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This gyro tastes like lonliness
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
