I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
