Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
