so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
