when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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