I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
