You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
