you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
