So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize