Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
