D3 body, D1 cock
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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