that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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