That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
