yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
