I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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