So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
