**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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