Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
