dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
