Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My feet surprised me
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
