Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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