Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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