he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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