help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
