On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
