It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
